There
are a few times in life when you meet someone and you just know it’s an honor. You are not sure why you deserve the honor, all you know is
that it’s here, you are presented with it and now you better use it.
This is how it feels to interview someone called William G Borchert.
Willian – or Bill as many know him was nominated for an Emmy in 1989 for
Screenwriting the commendable Warner Bros/ Hallmark hall of fame movie,
My name is Bill W.
The
film starred James Garner, James Wood and Jobeth Williams and was based
on material gathered and personal interviews. Bill also wrote “When
love is not enough,” starring Winona Ryder and Barry pepper. Over the
years he has written a number of books, "The
Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough, Sought Through Prayer and
Meditation, 50 Miracles That Changed Lives," and "1,000 Years of
Sobriety."
Bill, thanks so much for setting out some time to share your story with our readers.
Your
latest novel is a very intimate journey called, “How I Became My
Father…A Drunk.” Can you tell our readers more about your journey and
why you decided to share it with the world?
WB: There
has been one primary goal of my journey over the last 50 years or so as
a writer who has recovered from the disease of alcoholism. That goal
has been to share my experience, strength, and hope with others
suffering from the same malady to show them from my own personal
experience that there is a pathway to recovery and a life beyond their
wildest dreams.
There
was a time as a young man when drinking meant fun, parties and
freedom. It enabled me to do things I was too shy or too timid to do
sober. I thought it made me a better dancer, a better writer, a better
lover. It was my friend until it turned against me and began taking away
everything that was near and dear to me in my life. Then it tried to
kill me. That’s why I willingly share my story with others going through
the same thing—so they can find what I have found, a new way of life.
However,
my new book, “How I Became My Father…A Drunk” is one I never intended
to write. I guess I didn’t want to re-live a rather painful and shameful
past after years of making peace with it and with those that were
involved. But when several very close and loving friends, including my
wife, convinced me that my experience growing up with an alcoholic
father and then becoming an alcoholic myself could help families better
understand the disease and its solution, I put pen to paper.
Alcoholism, like many addictions, is a disease many humans can’t comprehend. How much of what you suffered was heredity?
WB: From
my own personal experience as well as from sharing with other recovered
alcoholics over some years now, I’m convinced that alcoholism is
definitely a family disease. First of all, science has discovered that
it’s in the genes. They say that anyone with one parent who is alcoholic
has a 40-50% chance of becoming addicted themselves. If both parents
are alcoholic, there’s an 80-90% chance that one or more of the children
will follow suit.
Not
only is alcoholism hereditary, it is also environmental. What I mean
is, the shameful and harmful behavior of every alcoholic affect, at
least, seven other people in their lives—parents, spouses, children,
other relatives and friends and even co-workers.
So,
with more than 40 million alcoholics in the United States alone, that
means more than 250 million people are impacted in some way by the
disease of alcoholism and most don’t know what to do or where to go
for help. That’s another reason I wrote my latest book—to show that
there is a solution.
How have you dealt with the part of society that doesn’t understand what an addict goes through or how he sees the world?
WB: Despite
the continued attempt by many in the recovery field to educate the
world about the fact that alcoholism is a disease, there’s still a
terrible stigma attached to it. Many people still consider abusive
drinking a moral weakness or the lack of will power. That’s why so many
addicts deny they are addicts and why this terrible denial keeps them
sick, makes them sicker and sadly kills too many.
I
have been through this myself more than once. Even though I have become
a successful author and screenwriter, I can still see people pause and
reflect when, should the occasion call for it, I tell them I am a
recovered alcoholic.
So
I keep on writing about recovery from addiction, hoping that someday it
might help reduce the denial among alcoholics and lessen the stigma
that surrounds them. The more people who come to know “the sober
alcoholic,” the more the stigma will subside. At least, that is my hope.
Has this book had any effect on others who struggle with alcoholism?
WB; I
am pleased to report that it has. Even though the book was only
published three months ago, I am already getting emails and phone calls
from people telling me how much they “identified” with my story, how
much it helped them, their parents or siblings and how they are telling
all their relatives and friends to get a copy.
Some
admitted they had a similar problem with a drunken father, swearing
never to be like him and then becoming the same or worse. Several women
said it was a drunk and abusive mother that caused the problems in their
homes. I really wasn’t that surprised to hear those kinds of stories
since, as I said before, alcoholism is a family disease.
One
lady told me very excitedly: “This book should be must reading in every
home in America.” I should have been embarrassed by such a laudatory
remark, but I wasn’t. Since I believe in what she said, I simply
replied, “Thank you very much.”
As
a world class writer, your success continued throughout your struggle,
how did you manage to focus on your work while the balance of your
family had to live in the wake of your own destruction?
WB: As
we know today, alcoholism, like any other disease, only gets worse not
better when left untreated. So as my disease progressed, my success
digressed.
By
the age of 22, I had become a by-line feature writer for the largest
evening newspaper in the world, based in New York City. I was covering
and writing some of the major stories of our time. By the age of 25, as a
result of my abusive drinking and erratic behavior, I was on my way out
the door. I began bouncing from one job to the next, writing for
magazines, radio shows, and small public relations firms.
I
tried focusing on my work. I knew I was a good writer when I was sober.
I knew I was a young man who had been given tremendous opportunities to
achieve significant success and financial reward in a career I loved.
But I had no idea that my disease made me powerless over alcohol. I
walked around with a mental obsession for booze that turned into a
physical craving once I picked up the first drink. As a result, my whole
life became unmanageable and my wife and children suffered the
consequences.
By
the age of 27, I was just about unemployable in the media world of New
York City. I had developed a reputation as an unreliable drunk who
turned in phony stories and cheated on his expense account. I was deeply
in debt, drank up two lovely homes and was now living with my wife and
four children in my mother-in-law’s basement.
Why
my wife stayed with me I couldn’t understand. I would have been long
gone. But she says she still loved me and prayed that the good Bill she
knew was deep inside would one day come out. And I thank God every day
that her mother was kind, generous and understanding enough to take care
of my family when I couldn’t. I also thank God for being able to make
amends to them all when I finally got sober.
If
you grew up feeling the power of addiction, seeing the dark veil it had
over yourself, your family—what made you fall into the same trap?
WB: That’s a question most addicts, if not all, find almost impossible to answer—at least in a way that non-addicts can understand.
You
would think, for example, when an alcoholic reads in the newspaper or
sees on TV that a drunk driver killed three small children as they were
crossing the street that he would never again get behind the wheel when
he’s drinking. But he does.
Alcoholism
is a three-fold disease. It affects one physically, mentally and
spiritually. It’s that mental part that triggers the kinds of decisions
and actions that can lead to disaster—the kinds of decisions
non-drinkers cannot understand. But neither can the addict.
I
promised myself I would never be like my father. But one night in a
crowded saloon, surrounded by the camaraderie of other newspaper
reporters, I gave in to the peer pressure and had a few drinks. Little
did I know the exuberance I felt was from my alcoholic genes coming to
life. Those damn genes told me I could handle few drinks now and then,
particularly on special occasions. They lied to me. Soon every day was a
special occasion.
Soon one drink was too many and a thousand weren’t enough.
As
a result, there were many things that I began doing over and over again
that I never wanted to do in the first place. But I was now powerless
over alcohol. My body craved it. And once I took that first drink, all
bets were off.
When did you know you wanted help?
WB: As
I began to feel things slipping away and couldn’t understand why I was
unable to stop drinking, I tried many different ways to help
myself—taking pledges, pleading with God, going to church, trying harder
to focus on my job and on my family. But nothing worked. Things
continued to get worse.
It
wasn’t until thoughts of suicide started to invade my booze-soaked
brain that I finally reached out beyond myself for help. I discuss that
period of my life in some detail in my new book.
How has this mindset changed your life?
WB: Despite
my thoughts of suicide, deep inside I knew I really didn’t want to die.
The real problem was I didn’t know how to live. I had no goals, no
direction, no guidance and no support. All I had was fear and a lack of
hope.
Then
I came into a Twelve Step recovery program. I was now ready to admit I
was powerless and willing to do whatever it took to get sober and stay
sober. At the suggestion of a sponsor, an older man who had nearly
experienced his own demise from booze, I made a decision to turn my will
and my life over to a God of my own understanding. Gradually a whole
new pathway opened up.
Through
the Twelve Steps of recovery my thinking changed, my actions changed
and I was able to once again use in a positive and productive way the
talents I had been given. Today I live an entirely different life, one
that is truly beyond my wildest dreams.
Do you feel you have been given a final chance at life?
WB: I
no longer think about fate or how much longer I might be around.
Therefore I don’t see anything, be it life, work, relationships or even
the lottery, as a final chance. I try to live my life one day at a time,
not in the past or in the future but in the now. However, the one thing
I am absolutely sure of is—to drink again is to die.
When you realized this is it, you want to live, what did you decide to do with your life?
WB: In
early sobriety, my brain was very muddled. I just hung in there and
tried to follow the suggestions of others who had much more sobriety
such as the man I had asked to be my sponsor in recovery. One of the
most important things I was told was not to make any major decision
during the first year of my sobriety.
As
the mist cleared, I knew I wanted to write again. I did, and after a
while became rather successful as an author and screenwriter. Then one
day I came to realize what a great debt I owed for this great gift of
sobriety I had been so freely given. That’s when I began to dedicate
myself to writing books and movies about recovery from addiction, hoping
that others might find the unbelievable life I have found as a sober
man. It has given me the kind of satisfaction that money can’t buy.
Has writing been a big healing point in your life?
WB: When
you are able to do what you love to do in life, I believe it makes you
happy, healthy and very grateful. At least that’s what has happened to
me. So yes, my writing has not only been healing but it has helped
expand my horizons far beyond where they were when I was nothing but a
selfish, centered alcoholic pounding on the bar in a sleazy saloon for
another drink.
How much does sharing your journey as a well-known artist contribute to the sales of your books?
WB: That’s
a difficult question to answer. I guess when people read one of your
books and enjoy it that may prompt them to buy another. I have met
people who told me they have read all my books and seen my movies. I
also know that many well-known major authors have large followings. So I
guess the answer is yes.
Are there any events where people can reach out to you?
WB: When
I am asked to speak at business, professional or social meetings or
conventions or hold book signings, these events are usually posted on
Facebook or on my website, williamborchert.com.
What’s next in line for Bill?
WB: There’s
a major film producer already interested in making a movie based on my
new book, “How I Became My Father…A Drunk.” In the meantime, I am
finishing several magazine articles and meeting my commitments for a
number of speaking engagements. Then I’ll take a deep breath and choose
from four very interesting ideas what will be my next book.My wife, Bernadette, says I’d rather write than breathe. But we always manage to spend some fun and loving time together.
Where can readers go to buy your books?
WB: First, if readers would like to find the books and movies I have written, they can go to my website, williamborchert.com and click on “books and movies”
Should
they like to purchase any of my books, they can do so directly from my
website or they can find most of them in bookstores as well as on Amazon.com, Hazelden.com
or Hallmark Hall of Fame.com. There is one exception however. My new
book, “How I Became My Father…A Drunk” can only be purchased from Amazon.com or from my website, williamborchert.com.
Do you have any place where people could contact you or someone who may feel they need help?
